...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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