Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i believe in u and ur pee
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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