you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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