You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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