lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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