So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
it was like eating out sand paper
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
