I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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