Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
