This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
