no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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