My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
