make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
