Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just gargled with NyQuil
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
