ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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