There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
handjob tips. give me some.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
