dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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