My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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