The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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