wanna go halves on a baby?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
