And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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