I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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