I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
