Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
