so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
