you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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