Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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