I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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