(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Farmville is her only friend.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize