you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Too much gin, very little bucket
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
