Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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