I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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