Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
