It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We are two peas in an std pod
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
