Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
