Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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