i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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