am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
