I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
you never un-have a 4some
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