Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
