I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
