Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
