But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
