Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
