if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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