I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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