The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
