Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
