That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
