i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
