Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
