I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize