we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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