I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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