Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
