office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
