watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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