you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
