I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize