We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
