I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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