i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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