So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
