Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just google imaged poop.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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