I checked into jail on foursquare
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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