You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
