Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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