She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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