Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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