my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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